Work/Life Balance

The work/life balance is something I never really thought about before. For the last 6 years me and Jodie have been in stable jobs working Monday to Friday and enjoying each weekend as much as we can. There's been the odd hours of overtime to interrupt here and there but on the whole, it was all pretty easy.

Then we became parents.

Don't get me wrong, I love parenting, I don't think I'll ever see it in a negative light. It's an amazing privilege to be a Dad! But what I didn't anticipate was I never really appreciated how much time I had spare before having a baby.

I really think our relationship has been a saving grace in the big changes. Officially I go to work all day, but that doesn't mean Jodie staying at home is her getting off easy. She's working just as hard for just as long, she is the 24 hour parent/super Mum! If anything, it's me that gets a break going to work 8 hours a day. That appreciation and respect for each other really makes things flow easier, I see way too many parents trying to compete to see who works harder or does more work. I want Willow to grow up with two parents who back each other up and support each other, in hopes she will share those same values.

We're still adjusting to everything to see what works best. Right when we find something that works, Willow will throw in a curve ball and make her own routine the next day. But I guess that's what it's all about, growing and adapting with her while trying to fit her into our lives at the same time.

As for the life balance, Willow has actually saved us a fair amount of money. We used to enjoy a meal out most weekends and plenty of pointless shopping trips to get out of the house. Because it can be quite a chore to just leave the house on a spontaneous idea, we have cut back on that side of things. We actually are looking for things we can do now like going for walks or little coffee dates (my favourite!) The biggest change is definitely sleep. We have to allow for an extra hour waking and going to sleep to get bottles ready, change nappies and get carried away staring at Willow.

Lastly, having Willow has actually gotten the two of us a lot more organised. We are champion procrastinators, still are actually but now we have a bigger drive to organise ourselves, Willow and most aspects of our life. There's some big things coming in our near future and having a baby really pushes the incentive to actually go through with them and it feels good actually having a plan of action most days, there's a huge sense of satisfaction when it all goes to plan!

We're all still trying to find the balance but it's one incredible experience so far. Willow is pushing us to more exciting and better things already, as long as we keep focus on who we are as a married couple, parents and individuals who need the occasional 'me' time, I think we'll be just fine.

Leaving the house

So it's my favourite time of the morning again, you know, the funny hours between midnight and 6am that you normally sleep. Seriously though, Willow is my living alarm clock, now she's fed, changed and now sleeping again, I've been left wide awake so I'm preparing for the day ahead.

Me and Jodie spoke yesterday about heading out this morning to Babies 'R' Us to have a look at a few bits. By "have a look" I mean we are probably going to spend far too much on cute things and forget the one item we planned to get! The struggle is real for sure.

We need to go look for some cot/travel cot system for Willow, to our surprise the lovely Moses basket we fell in love with from Izziwotnot is now becoming a little cramped for our 5 week old. She's not a big baby by any means, but shes getting so long! Already grown an inch since birth!

Before leaving the house, there's a bit of a checklist to complete, were getting better and faster at it, but it's still a bit of a chore. (gets easier right?)

1. Feed Willow
2. Burp Repeatedly, congratulate and compliment her on said burps for some reason (anyone else?)
3. Change Willow, sometimes change again, little pee diva.
4. Get changing bag ready; Nappies, wipes, bib, spare clothes, dummies (sterilise again), bottle (sterilise first), muslin cloths, poo bags and some random bits that we never use but pack anyway.
5. Get ready myself, Jodie takes on Willow duty
6. Jodie gets ready, I take on Willow duty
7. Double check changing bag for no reason
8. (Optional) get carried away babbling at Willow
9. Get the car seat ready, Willow gets locked in
10. Shoes on
11. Get in the car and GO!
12. Run back in the house for random forgotten item

It can sometimes take us a good hour or more to get ready and leave the house, no matter how much a pre-pack or plan things out! Luckily once Willow gets in the car seat, she falls asleep instantly and we make the time up by zooming through shops before she wakes up and needs food, changing and staring at some more. Admittedly, I lose a lot of time just sitting there babbling at her but when my baby babbles, you better believe I babble back!

So the plan is to leave early (Sunday hours so maybe 9-10?) browse some things, come home and relax on my last night off before work (work/life balancing sucks). Not too shabby for a Sunday plan, I'm hoping we can sneak a cheeky fast food lunch in there somewhere too oh and plenty of coffee. I'm going to time and update this later on exactly how we did!

I think I'm getting the hang of this!

This week we hit the 5 week milestone!

Now a lot of things have changed in the last 5 weeks, actually let me rephrase that, EVERYTHING has changed in the last 5 weeks!

For starters, sleep. Sleep is the big one, it is incredible how little you can have in the first few weeks and still manage to operate, but not always at full capacity. There's been times where I put the kettle in the microwave, forgot to put the lid on the milk before shaking and a few other 'baby brain' related incidents. But now, we are looking at a good 3-5 hour snooze at night and a few cat naps during the day, now I could get used to that!

I think the main change that I've seen in the last 5 weeks, is our confidence as parents. Jodie and I have been fairly self critical the whole time, which is totally normal! When you have a screaming baby, it is easy to sort of think you're not doing something right, but Jodie is literally a champion baby whisperer, and has every right to be proud about it! As for me, I'm getting there! I still have this weird feeling that everyone is watching me when we go in public and feed her or walk around but hopefully that'll go soon too!

My confidence as a new father is coming along now. It's still very much a work in process, but I think I'm getting there! I just managed to change Willow without so much as a peep (both of us still half asleep) and feed her, right as she smacked her lips in pre-warning of hunger at 5am. I feel pretty good about that, now she's sleeping and I have some time free and haven't heard any form of fuss, I'm patting myself on the back for that one!

In general, being a confident parent comes from just figuring things out for yourself. When Jodie was still pregnant, we went to the parenting classes, read books, lived on Pinterest and used Google search and Youtube for everything else. Coming into the first few days of being real life parents, we tried to do everything by the book, the way you are 'supposed' to do. Nope, not happening! I mean, obviously there are rules and guidelines in place for safety and health reasons (no shortcuts in that department) but really, it was impossible to do everything the way you are told is the 'right' way. It took us a couple of weeks to figure that one out, now we are getting somewhere! As long as you have common sense, not a whole lot can got wrong.

I'm really starting to enjoy parenting now. It feels much more like parenting this week, the last few weeks seemed more like survival!  But here we are, surviving and learning every day. Willow is developing so much quicker than I ever expected. Holding her head up since the very early days, growing very long (just like Daddy) smiling, chuckling and since last weekend, responding to us when we talk to her with little sighs, coos and cute noises. I honestly can't remember what life was like before becoming a Dad, because this feels so right and so exciting, I'll never need to look back. I've got two amazing girls here and this whole parenting thing is the greatest!

That's it for now, far too much to get done while we have a sleeping baby!

10 things I've learned as a new Dad!

So here we are sitting somewhat comfortably on day 30 of parenthood (1 month old tomorrow!!) and I thought I would share some of the things I've either learned, discovered or realised in the first month of baby life.

I honestly can't believe how much Willow has changed this month, in fact, we all have! We've taken countless photos, videos and collected a huge amount of memories, looking back in this small time frame we can already see that she is growing, changing and developing faster than we ever expected. I really think I'll miss these tiny baby moments, but I'm so excited for the next stages to come and see our beautiful daughter grow up!

Here are 10 things I've learned as a new Dad:

1. Sleep is a precious gift!

The amount of things we achieved in the first couple of weeks running on zero sleep is astounding. I mean, the drive home from the hospital was scary enough after 36 hours! We managed to survive on little 30-40 minute intervals for a good 2 weeks! It is definitely a testing time for new parents, but if you work as a team, it all falls into place. 

2. I love my Wife (post not sponsored by her).

Now this one you would say is a given. Obviously I love my wife, after 7 years together and 2 years of marriage, of course we love each other! What I mean is, there's a whole new feeling of love, appreciation and admiration for the woman who gave me a daughter. It's hard to explain but this whole experience has brought us both so much closer and I'm totally in awe of her an Willow. I have an even bigger sense of pride for Jodie being my wife and life partner, she's given me the most amazing gift in the form of Willow and I couldn't be happier with our little family. Now where can I cash in these brownie points?

3. How to change a nappy (diaper)

Now this one is a given, coming from someone who had managed to go through 25 years of life and never pull the short straw in changing a nappy, the time came soon enough! In a weird way I pride myself on this, the first few were..interesting. But as a new Dad with a wife recovering from labour and pregnancy, I felt a responsibility to help out. I mean, she just grew a human and went through some serious experiences the give birth, the least I could do is make her life as easy as possible! So I am chief nappy changer and it's kind of a big deal! From changing colours to copious amounts of poo and pee, I count myself as an experienced veteran, and somewhat of a professional!

4. FED is best!

During pregnancy it is now embedded in you that breastfeeding is the best way to feed, of course I agree, the science is there and has been for years. But what they don't seem to talk about is that not every woman can breastfeed, and that actually it is okay to use the bottle and formula to feed your baby. There is such a stigma around the whole thing, but you know what? My baby needs to be fed, it doesn't matter how, as long as she is fed. Jodie tried so hard to breastfeed, and we did get a good start in the first 7-10 days but nature decided she couldn't keep up so we took to the formula to keep Willow happy and healthy and haven't looked back since! Jodie did feel disappointed in herself, which she has no reason to be, I think seeing our baby progress and grow since then has helped her realise she did all she could and should be proud! Not to mention I get to help out now as well and give Jodie a break, I love feeding time, although I'm not a fan of the baby milk myself!

5.There's still time for 'us'

It's so easy to get wrapped up in parenting with a newborn, we didn't even want to leave the house for the first 2 weeks. But we are still a couple and a family combined so we decided to bring Willow in on our usual habits. One thing Mrs. Clarke and I enjoy is a good coffee date, the things we have laughed about and the decisions we have made over a cup of the good stuff really have made these dates a favourite of ours. Now Willow has a bottle, she can sort of join in too! As you can see from the picture, Costa is a top choice of ours but really, any hot coffee works for us! There's plenty of love for the caffeine in these early days! 

6. It is possible to love another woman.

By woman, I mean my daughter. Willow is literally the most amazing addition to our lives. I have heard it sometimes takes a little while to bond with a new baby but for me, it was instant. I was overcome with an immense amount of pride, love and admiration for my daughter as soon as I saw her arrive into this world. That moment was the most incredible feeling I have ever experienced. I'll never forget it! The moments where we touch noses or she snuggles into my chest really seal the deal for me in being a Dad. That being said, I could use a few less times where i get peed on!

7. Pay attention!

In the modern day and age, recording moments on a small screen a few inches from your face is better than watching live with your actual eyes. But when it comes to parenting, spending less time looking at the screen and more time watching your baby grow and develop should be mandatory. After all, they are watching you too! The first few moments are so precious, of course you want to remember them forever but having some real one on one time face to face with Willow is one of my favourite things to do. Seeing her copy me in sticking her tongue out and smile back at me when I talk to her is an amazing experience, it's basic development and incredibly important. Of course, I've still managed to amass a few hundred pictures and videos in between. 

8. Baby clothes are essential, but not easy.

There are thousands of adorable outfits for babies. During pregnancy you buy them in bulk and get gifted them in huge quantities. But what we never paid attention to was how difficult some of these outfits actually are to put on a baby! Willow hates being changed, and I mean HATES it. so having an outfit that requires bows, buttons, zips and a hat is just not an option. Not yet any way, we are still hopeful! An easy button up the front onesie is our go to outfit for home, the occaisional dress and tights is an easy second. Still working on the back button tops. 

 9. I'm a Dad!
Okay, okay, sticking an obvious one in there. But seriously, I didn't know what this would be like at all. I thought a lot about what type of father I wanted to be while we were pregnant. A role model, enthusiastic, proud and generally one of the good guys. It's a work in progress but I really enjoy waking up in the morning to see my family and my life has a whole new sense of purpose now, I guess all the rest will fall into place! The pride I feel as a father now has really boosted my confidence in her future being happy, healthy and successful.

10. We're totally winging it, but we're going to be just fine!

Even though we are new at this whole parenting thing, I think we're doing a pretty good job. It's important to be on the same page as each other to get the best outcome with everything. We make  good team and get more confident in ourselves every day. There's the odd challenge or long night, but it's all a part of the parenting game and it's so worth it to see our little girl grow and develop every day. My family means the world to me and I couldn't be happier. We have also received an incredible amount of support and made some fantastic friends through recording our journey and I hope to continue connecting with you all and maybe learn a few things along the way.

Thanks for reading and keeping up with our story!

Head over to @astoryfromdad for more daily updates and to connect!

Tim (Dad)

Parenthood Begins!

Hello!

Those of you who don't know me, I'm Tim, husband to Jodie and new father to a beautiful baby girl, Willow. I started documenting the parenting journey when we had about 70 days left of pregnancy. There wasn't a solid reason for that time scale, but that's around when it really hit me that I was going to be a father and the excitement took over, I wanted to remember every emotion, feeling and experience of the entire journey. Not to mention, share our excitement for our first baby!


I started out writing a few posts over on Instagram as @Astoryfromdad and the response has been incredible. I've been so lucky to now be in touch with so many amazing parents and people who are pregnant as well. So many different experiences and stories to hear and some really great advice, without which we would have probably struggled quite a bit as first time parents (still working on that!), so for those of you reading this who have shared our journey so far, thank you so much!

Our story begins on a sort of long trail. It took us about 2 years to get pregnant in the first place, my wife Jodie unfortunately has Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome which limits ovulation (kind of important to get pregnant, you need an egg!) and after many doctors visits she finally got diagnosed and our journey started. We eventually got referred to a fertility clinic to get the ball rolling. One thing that really got us through the fertility issues was teamwork, sounds cheesy but as a couple you both go through issues, not just one of you, we talked plenty and worked through it all, together. After plenty of tests for her and a few for me (wasn't really a fan of producing a sample in the mens 'special room' but in comparison to the tests Jodie had to have, I best not complain!) to make sure there were no other issues before we underwent treatment, the clinic gave us a few months trial of a drug called Clomid to get those eggs out! Luckily, to our surprise, the first month of pills worked and we got pregnant!

Along came the pregnancy which I'll write about as this blog goes on, Jodie did incredible and I'll forever be in awe of her for it. What a woman's body can achieve is astounding to say the least! And then came the birth, which is a story of it's own to come soon. Another incredible thing Jodie has done to give us our first child which I will forever be grateful for. She's beautiful, she's perfect and I'll tell you, that feeling you get the moment your child is born, it's extraordinary, it changes everything and feels amazing. I think seeing a little bit of Jodie and a little of me in our daughter is so cool, we made an actual child!


I will be sharing as much as my few hours of free time each day allows me to, mostly to document this amazing journey and have something to look back on, but also to share our successes and failures to anyone who might be listening and maybe even receive or be able to give advice and help bring this next generation of kids up into a fantastic world full of opportunity and value. I'm also currently working on the whole 'Dad joke' thing too so of course, there will be plenty of those swimming around.

That's it from me for now, Willow and Jodie are currently sleeping at 5am and I think it's time I get an hour or two in myself before we start another day (day 17) with our baby. I'm a proud Dad and Husband and this whole experience has brought a whole new meaning to life for me, every day brings a new challenge but I look forward to it more than anything.

Thanks for reading,

Tim (Dad)